You are not your feelings. You are not your thoughts. You are not the brain that creates the thoughts. You are not the body that houses the brain. You are outside of all of this as Spirit/Soul and are made completely of Love. You are just experiencing this body, this brain, these thoughts, these emotions. When you can separate yourself from all of this, You can get curious and just watch what your brain is doing. This is called awareness, or presence. Your brain is simply the hardware and your thoughts are the software, the programming that’s been encoded since you were a fetus. You get to choose how you respond to this programming, what you make it mean about You, and if You would like to change it, to reprogram. This is the work we do. As a Life Coach, I help you see your thoughts. I help you separate the facts from your thoughts, You from your emotions, You from your actions. You decide what to keep and what to let go. You are your very own healer. I’m just a guide. Take a few minutes today and just watch yourself think. Take it a step further and write down these thoughts. Do you like what you see? Why or why not? Get curious!
Here’s my problem with “happy wife, happy life”…it’s fooled us into thinking that our husband’s job description starting the day we got married was to make us happy. Even though we intellectually know that this isn’t true, there is a hidden belief that says now that we’re married he’s supposed to live and breathe for my joy. The truth is we are each individually responsible for our own emotions, including happiness. We’ve written this subconscious operating manual for how our husbands are supposed to behave. They’ve never read this manual. We think they should just know. We judge them and compare them to other husbands. This is the very cause of our suffering, my friends! Guess what! Husbands are just humans who are married to another human! Despite popular belief, men are just as emotionally complex as women. They’ve just been taught very different programming on how to express their emotions. Pride and the need to look tough mask the softer underbelly of emotions like sadness, worry, fear, or grief. Throw in some childhood and past relationship traumas on each side and man, you’re in for a wild ride of confusion and miscommunication. This is why doing your own work on your old stories and beliefs is priceless. Investing in coaching not only helped me attract my relationship to me but continues to save me from ruining it! I thought my husband needed to change yet I was the one acting from anxiety, scarcity, fear of abandonment, and much more. I learned that my only job as a wife in this relationship is to love my husband. I get to feel love when I think loving thoughts. It’s so fun to feel love! My husband’s only job is to exist and be loved by me. That’s it! We can make requests of each other. We can express feelings and desires. But we communicate so much better when we drop the expectations, judgements, and comparisons, and come from a place of love, grace, and compassion. Let’s say “emotionally responsible wife, emotionally responsible life” instead, okay?
To all the intentional moms out there, I see you! We’re doing THE most important work on the planet. When we take the time to work on ourselves first so that we raise kind, conscious adults we are literally changing the whole world. Making sure that you’ve cleared out old stories so that you don’t overreact in anger is HUGE. Clearing limiting beliefs so you become your best self sets the BEST example of what’s possible for those kiddos. Loving yourself and showing what it looks like to live a life of abundance and wellbeing gives your children permission to go out and create what they were born to. If you can believe that you were the exact right mother chosen for each of your children and that everything you’ve been through was for your own good so that you can teach the next generation, you can face each day EMPOWERED to be the real you. We don’t need to compare ourselves to other moms, our own moms and grandmoms, or hold onto ideas of what we “should” be like. We just need to mother our children and the world from love. If you’ve got your own childhood recovery to do, trying desperately not to recreate the same old junk with your kids, I can help you. Message me and let’s get started.
My word for the year: INTENTIONAL Why? Because I used to live my life in reaction to what was thrown at me, and played a victim and a martyr. Over the past few years I’ve learned how to empower myself, take action from a strong, self-loving place and make real change in my life. Now that I’m a wife, mother, and business woman it’s even more important to me to create my life on purpose because it’s not all about me anymore. It’s a common misconception that being a people-pleaser is being selfless but it’s actually quite selfish. All I would be worried about was if people approved of me or loved me enough so I can feel good about myself, not truly serving people from a place of wholeness and love. When I take care of my own needs and love myself then I’m happy to give from genuine generosity and not obligation. I want to show up like this intentionally in all aspects of my life. -Marriage -Motherhood -Physical health -Mental wellness -Family -Friendships -Coaching clients -Fun! Where are you showing up intentionally? Where are you going unconscious and letting life happen to you? These are good questions to ask yourself and evaluate where you can start making these subtle but huge changes in your thinking. #motherhood#lifecoachingforwomen#lifecoachingformoms#lifecoachformoms#homeschoolmom#newmoms#newmomlife#newmum#newmums#newmumstruggles#newmomstruggles#momlife#relationshipgoals#marriagemindset#motherhoodmindset#emotionalintelligence#intentionalliving#intention#createyourlife#creativeliving#createonpurpose
I can remember saying to myself that when I became a mom I would NEVER be like her.
I can remember starting to feel apathy and indifference towards her. It would be easier to not care than to love this woman.
Over the past 15 years, I’ve gone from feeling disdain to unconditional love and compassion. Through many fights, long, hard discussions, tears, boundary setting, getting coached and lots of inner work, I now have the best relationship with my mother.
I didn’t require her to change in order for me to forgive her. I didn’t require her to start doing anything differently in order for me to respect or love her. It was my own choice to change how I thought about her. It’s that simple, and it’s that hard.
I decided I wanted a good relationship with mom. I decided I would make the effort. I decided that no matter what, I will feel love and compassion. I decided to think these thoughts instead.
She did the very best she could with the knowledge and awareness she had at the time. She is worthy of pure love and respect. She is one of the hardest working people I know. She can always find a reason to laugh and smile. She can be so silly without getting embarrassed. She’s very thoughtful and caring. She loves so fiercely. She is the best Grandma I could have ever imagined her being. She loves her daughters and grandson more than anything in the world. We are so lucky to have her in our lives. I’m so glad I chose her to be my mom. I’m so glad I can be a mom just like her.