“Happy Wife, Happy Life”

Here’s my problem with “happy wife, happy life”…it’s fooled us into thinking that our husband’s job description starting the day we got married was to make us happy. Even though we intellectually know that this isn’t true, there is a hidden belief that says now that we’re married he’s supposed to live and breathe for my joy. The truth is we are each individually responsible for our own emotions, including happiness. ⁣

We’ve written this subconscious operating manual for how our husbands are supposed to behave. They’ve never read this manual. We think they should just know. We judge them and compare them to other husbands. This is the very cause of our suffering, my friends!⁣

Guess what! Husbands are just humans who are married to another human! Despite popular belief, men are just as emotionally complex as women. They’ve just been taught very different programming on how to express their emotions. Pride and the need to look tough mask the softer underbelly of emotions like sadness, worry, fear, or grief. Throw in some childhood and past relationship traumas on each side and man, you’re in for a wild ride of confusion and miscommunication. ⁣

This is why doing your own work on your old stories and beliefs is priceless. Investing in coaching not only helped me attract my relationship to me but continues to save me from ruining it! I thought my husband needed to change yet I was the one acting from anxiety, scarcity, fear of abandonment, and much more. ⁣

I learned that my only job as a wife in this relationship is to love my husband. I get to feel love when I think loving thoughts. It’s so fun to feel love!⁣

My husband’s only job is to exist and be loved by me. That’s it!⁣

We can make requests of each other. We can express feelings and desires. But we communicate so much better when we drop the expectations, judgements, and comparisons, and come from a place of love, grace, and compassion. ⁣

Let’s say “emotionally responsible wife, emotionally responsible life” instead, okay? ⁣