Six Months of New Motherhood

Today marks six months of motherhood for me! My son is six months old today and I’ve been reflecting on how much we have both grown since he was born. ⁣

He’s doubled in weight, grown a few inches in length, developed many new skills and is such a happy baby. ⁣

I have lost and gained and lost weight, my heart has doubled in size, I’ve also developed many new skills, and have become an even stronger, more resilient woman.⁣

Yesterday, I posted about resilience and how I’ve learned that it comes from doing really hard things. Well, the past six months and all of my self-coaching through it has made me exponentially more resilient. ⁣

This isn’t just a creative project I can toss in a box and say “maybe later”. This isn’t a goal I can write in my journal and scratch out when it gets too tough. This isn’t a dream I’m willing to give up on.⁣

I dreamed of becoming an amazing mother and here I am, doing it. Even when I don’t feel amazing. Even when it’s late at night and I am rocking my crying baby for the 47th consecutive minute and my back, arms, and neck are aching. Even when I feel like I’m not doing everything right. I still show up to my dream every day. I show up to myself. I show up to my son.⁣

Sometimes, heck most of the time, it ain’t pretty, but the underside of our dreams coming true are hardly ever the picture we painted in our minds. ⁣

Over the past six months I’ve struggled with my tendency to buffer with food, alcohol, and shopping. I made up plenty of excuses to eat treats, buy things I think will make my life easier as a new mom, and drink wine when I get stressed in the evenings. None of these are inherently bad. They just don’t align with the kind of mom I want to be. I’ve made a decision to be a clear-headed, healthy, and peaceful mother. This takes processing many different emotions, and deciding on purpose what to think and feel, and taking actions that produce the results I want. ⁣

After all of the dream-quitting I’ve done in my life, I’m so thankful I have this wonderful opportunity to be Cory’s mother and to grow myself in ways I never knew were possible. I’m so looking forward to the next six months of this crazy joyful life!