I had my 6-month follow up with my endocrinologist to see how the new thyroid meds worked on my hypothyroidism. Even though my thyroid still isn’t functioning properly and I need to start a higher dose, she was very impressed with my weight loss. I explained what I was doing (no sugar/no flour and intermittent fasting). She said she usually doesn’t suggest low/no carb because “it’s not sustainable” but agrees that it does work. I just said “Yep, it’s not sustainable if you decide to go back to eating the sugar and flour but I’m done with it so it’s easy.” I explained to her how it’s like if you were to put a pack of cigarettes in front of me and said that I couldn’t have any. It wouldn’t bother me at all because I just don’t smoke cigarettes. It’s just a decision that I stick to. She just stared at me blankly. It was as if she had never heard of a patient just making a decision before. I love when people tell me that the improvements I’ve been making are not sustainable…as if the life I was living before was?
Even though I could have taken the thyroid result and turned it into “there’s something wrong with me” or “I’m broken”, I’m so used to the new mindset I’ve been working on in my coaching program for the last six months that I didn’t have a single negative thought about it. I just observed that my little thyroid needs extra help. I’m also not using my thyroid as an excuse to stay overweight as I have in years past. “Oh well of course I’m fat, I have hypothyroidism.” Not anymore!
I have never left a doctor appointment feeling so good about myself when I got a “negative” result. In fact, just before I found this endocrinologist, I went to a different one. I left that office feeling the worst I had in a long time. I had let her make me feel so badly about myself. She tried to use scare tactics and run all these tests on me (probably trying to run up my insurance) and say I probably have thyroid cancer and liver disease, just by looking at me. I felt so broken. I thought that I had finally done myself in. I hated myself. I had begun to learn about really managing my thoughts and emotions but had not practiced it enough to not go into a downward spiral. And so when I went to my new doctor, she ran all the same tests and showed me how I do not have thyroid cancer or liver disease. No diabetes, not even close. I’m actually quite healthy! I just need some help with my thyroid levels. Not a big deal. I still felt broken but started to feel hopeful.
It’s times like these that I’m so truly thankful for the work I’ve been doing in my life. I can now decide to think the thoughts that best serve me and create emotions that I want to feel, while noticing what naturally comes up and feeling it all out, negative or positive. I’ve heard people make a few comments about how they don’t want to be robots and not have emotions. This work is not about not feeling emotions but actually really feeling them. You don’t feel your feelings when you over drink or overeat or gossip or watch porn or binge on Netflix. You’re just covering them up. I’m deciding to feel it all out and know that I have the power to redirect my thoughts at any time, if I want to. Sometimes I choose to let myself feel sad about something. Otherwise I would be a sociopath.
I can decide if the doctor is giving me “bad news” or just news. The facts are my little thyroid needs some help. So, I got a new prescription. That’s it. I can be grateful for modern medicine and move on with my life. I am not broken.
Today I choose to think, “My body is a wonderful universe of miracles and it gives me beautiful experiences in this life.” That feels amazing.
What thoughts/emotions are you creating?
Thanks for reading!!! I love to hear back from readers. What do you think about this topic? Have you had similar experiences? What helped you the most? Please comment below!
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