Today, I realized my mom is my best friend. I couldn’t feel more lucky to have her in my life. The last few conversations with her have included her telling me that she loves me, that she’s proud of me, that she believes in me and all of my desires. Could it get any better than that?
A little while back I decided to just mother myself the way I thought she should have throughout my childhood. I decided that I would love myself unconditionally. That I would believe in myself and my dreams. That I would be proud of myself every day.
Turns out I always was mothered like that by my own mom! No matter what I thought she should have done or said throughout my life, she has always loved who I was. She’s never criticized or judged my lifestyle. She’s never demanded I go out and live my life a certain way to make her happy. She’s never told me I was an embarrassment to the family. She’s always had my back when I’ve felt alone in the world. When I’m hurting, emotionally or physically, she’s the one I want to call. When all hell breaks loose in my world, I want her to know, not so she can fix it but so she can just simply love me through it.
A few years ago, I could not have imagined saying any of this because I was choosing to think certain thoughts about my childhood, my young adulthood and her own life. She’s changed and grown in certain ways, but not because I changed her. She’s transforming her own life because she wants to. I’m lucky enough to witness it. We’re both able to see each other move gracefully through the world, growing, changing, being challenged. When I released all the ideas of what she should do in order to make me feel a certain way, I let her be who she is, which is perfect, I get to just enjoy her.
It’s simply beautiful.
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